Jonah Hex – Women Troubles – Shaun Richens.

Really sorry this didn't get put up last week. Had some massive trouble with my internet. However I didn't want to miss J.D's first pick so heres my little contribution to the week.

PAGE ONE

4 panels. 1,2,3 Are a top row, 4 takes up the rest of the page.

1. BLACK PANEL.

         NO COPY

2. This whole image is blurry as if someone is just opening their eyes and adjusting to the light. We can make out a pair of woman’s legs in fishnets, she is wearing high heels as well. The feet stand flat on the left hand edge of the panel and go up to the right hand side. As if someone is looking at the legs whilst lying on their side.

         NO COPY

3. Same as 2 but not blurry. 

WOMAN (Speech bubble coming from the top of her legs and written sideways to match)

Get him up.

4. We have pulled back from the first person view of Jonah Hex and we now see him propped up against the wall in a Saloon, his hands tied behind his back and his face slightly bruised and bloody. The woman standing in front of him is dressed in this, she has a huge grin on her and a shotgun cockily resting on her shoulder. A group of rough outlaws with bandanas covering the lower half of their faces stand around her like a pack of wolves waiting to get fed.

        JONAH

        Damn double crossing….

        WOMAN

Watch that tongue of yours Jonah, that’s what got you into this mess. 

Jonah Hex - Massacre - R.A. Wonsowski (the American Zombie)

Setting:  Interior, old West saloon.  Panels 1 -4 are from the same p.o.v., as if we're watching from halfway up a flight of stairs.  Tables and chairs upended and scattered all over the floor.  Note:  NO SOUND EFFECTS.

Panel 1 - An older JONAH HEX, his Confederate army uniform covered by a grey duster, is surrounded by a weasely looking cowboy, dressed relatively well with thick, round spectacles, and five rough-looking outlaws, one grabbing a rifle.  Hatless, HEX's mane of white hair whipping around behind him, his eyes following his right throwing hand.  The outlaw closest to us rocks his head back toward us, a Bowie knife sticking out of his forehead.  HEX's left hand breaks a whiskey bottle over the edge of the bar.  The cowboy behind him is raising a wooden chair over his head, in the hopes of smashing it over HEX's head.

NO COPY

Panel 2 - HEX twists and ducks his body, left hand driving the broken bottle into the throat of the cowboy with the chair raised, arterial spray shooting upwards.  HEX's right hand grips the handle of his holstered Navy Colt 5-round, long-barreled revolver:



Another gunman has drawn his own weather-worn pistol, and the weasel is hiding behind two more beefier cowboys, one rolling up his sleeves, the other cocking his swing-lever-action rifle:



NO COPY

Panel 3 - HEX draws and shoots the pistolero in the eye, his brains exploding out the back of his head.  The one with rolled-up sleeves goes into a wrestler's crouch, ducking under the gore.  The weasel pulls on the rifleman's shoulder, the rifleman swinging his shoulder, and rifle, away from the weasel, aimed toward the ceiling.  (The chair has fallen with the wielder.)

NO COPY

Panel 4 - HEX aims, shoots the crouching wrestler in the teeth.  The weasel falls backwards to the floor, as the other cowboy lowers his rifle, aiming at HEX.

NO COPY

Panel 5 - HEX turns so his torso is facing us.  As the rifleman's shot misses, crossing HEX's midsection, HEX returns fire, slamming the rifleman in the gut.

NO COPY

Panel 6 - HEX nonchalantly tosses his revolver to the side, toward the weasel, as he bends over to pick up the rifle.  HEX spits through his teeth.

HEX:  (small font) ...taken dumps scarier than y'all...

Panel 7 - HEX takes a military rifleman's stance, his bulging eye sighting down the long barrel, cocking the rifle from the swing stock, aiming at the weasel, who is looking up at him in fear, and has pissed himself.  The weasel's hand is fumbling behind him, his right hand's fingers on HEX's revolver handle.

HEX:  (small font) That's right, ya little dungtick...

HEX:  (return to normal-sized font) Fill your hand, Judge.

Panel 8 - HEX fires a rifle blast, the weasel's hand explodes, his fingers flying in all directions, the revolver falling from the stump.

HEX:  Gavelin' lefty, now...

END PAGE

Jonah Hex and the Frontier Prometheus - Niel Jacoby

This takes place before Hex was given the Mark Of The Demon.

Panel 1: Hex and the Doctor are in the front of a stagecoach in the pouring rain. Hex is shotgun, and the Doctor is at the reins. The Doctor is old and short, but still able-bodied enough.

Caption: EARLY IN HEX'S LIFE AS A HAND FOR HIRE, THOUGH BEFORE HIS TAKING OF THE BOUNTY-HUNTING TRADE OR HIS STINT IN THE CONFEDERATE ARMY, HE FOUND HIMSELF IN THE UNENVIABLE POSITION OF ESCORTING A CERTAIN DOCTOR TO HIS NEWLY-PURCHASED LABORATORY IN THE WASHINGTON TERRITORY, WHERE, UNBEKNOWNST TO JONAH, THE DOCTOR WOULD CONTINUE THE EXPERIMENTS THAT LED TO HIS BEING CHASED FROM HIS NATIVE LAND.

Caption: WASHINGTON TERRITORY, JANUARY 1854

Hex: WHAT I CAN'T QUITE UNDERSTAND IS WHY, AFTER THE TROUBLE YOUR LINE OF WORK BROUGHT YOU BACK IN... AH, WHEREVER THE HECK IT WAS--

Doctor: SWITZERLAND.

Panel 2: Close on Jonah. He's a little peeved at being corrected.

Hex: ...THANKS.

Hex: --BACK IN SWITZERLAND, WHY, AFTER ALL THAT, YOU WOULD BOTHER COMING HALFWAY ACROSS THE GLOBE TO START UP ON IT AGAIN.

Panel 3: Close on the Doctor's face: determined, intense, with a gleam in his eye that could be madness or the thrill of scientific discovery.

Doctor: MY YOUNG COMPANION, THE MARCH OF PROGRESS DOES NOT HALT FOR THE SIMPLE-MINDED, FOR THE BRAYING CROWDS, FOR THOSE WHO LET THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN SHROUD THEM FROM THE BRILLIANT GLEAM OF POSSIBILITY!

Doctor: NO, THIS CANNOT BE STOPPED, AS THE SEAS CANNOT BE ABSORBED BY THE MAN WHO STICKS IN HIS FACE AND DRINKS DEEPLY, AS THE WINDS CANNOT BE DRIVEN OFF BY THE GOSSAMER THREADS THAT CALL THEMSELVES HAUTE COUTURE IN THIS BACKWARD, UNCULTURED BURROW, AND AS THE MOVEMENT OF THE EARTH CANNOT BE CONTROLLED BY SOME CONFOUNDED CONSTABLE NO MATTER HOW HARD HE SWINGS HIS CUDGEL!

Panel 4: Jonah, seemingly unfazed and even bored, gazes ahead into the rain.

Hex: AND OF COURSE, AN... UNCULTURED YOUTH SUCH AS ME COULD NOT GRASP THE SCOPE OF THIS ASTOUNDING...

Inset panel: Hex is searching for a word.

Hex: THING... THAT YOU'VE DEVOTED YOUR LIFE TO STUDYING?

Panel 5: The Doctor guffaws, head thrown to the raining sky.

Doctor: HA! AS I LEARNED LONG AGO, THE WORLD WILL NOT BE READY FOR MY CREATION UNTIL SUCH TIME AS I FORCE THEM TO ACCEPT ITS UNDENIABLE REALITY!

Inset panel: Close on Hex glaring at the doctor. Hex is not pleased. He's more than a little tired of the Doctor.

Hex: ...THAT'S A NO, I WOULD ASSUME.

Panel 6: Half-page. The stagecoach(should be small in comparison to its surroundings) drives through the pouring rain of a dark night lit only by a single, searing strike of lightning. Make it look haunting, desolate.


Doctor: IF IT NEEDS TO BE PUT INTO SUCH... ROUGH TERMS, I SUPPOSE A "NO" WOULD SUFFICE.

Doctor(Muttered): ALSO, IT'S 'SUCH AS I'. BUT I DIGRESS.


Caption: AND WITH THAT, THE TIME FOR CONVERSATION HAS CEASED, AS THE ONLY ACTION REMAINING IS TO CARRY EVER FORWARD TO THE ODD AND OMINOUS FATE THAT AWAITS...

TITLE: JONAH HEX AND THE FRONTIER PROMETHEUS

Jonah Hex – Jonah Hex and the Legacy of Zorro – MK Stangeland Jr.

(JONAH HEX has traveled out to the far west hunting the bounty of a man carrying the identity of ‘Zorro’. After actually meeting the man and agreeing to help rather than hunt him, the both of them have ninjas sent after them by the people who Hex was originally working for.)

(7 Panels)

Panel 1: Panel is behind ZORRO and JONAH HEX as they ride on horseback away from the panel. They look behind them to see their pursuers.

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 2: Image at the panel should be rotated at a slight angle. We see the people chasing ZORRO and JONAH HEX – it’s roughly a dozen ninjas riding on horseback.

These ninjas, however, are wearing slightly modified outfits that are better suited for the hotter climate of California. Their costumes are white instead of black, the very top of their heads are exposed to let their hair hang out (though their masks still cover their faces), and their sleeves are absent from their shoulder to their upper forearm.

Two of the ninjas are seen reloading crossbows, one is retrieving Shuriken ninja stars, and the rest are drawing ninja swords.

SFX: (Spread out across the panel amongst the ninjas who are drawing their swords) Sh-ring! Shring! shhhhha-rING! shring! sha-ring!

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 3: ZORRO and JONAH HEX look to each other.

ZORRO: Not friends of yours, I presume?

JONAH HEX: I was goin’ to ask you the same thing.

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 4: JONAH HEX pulls out a revolver and holds it aimed skyward.

JONAH HEX: We better loose these guys.

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 5: ZORRO pulls out his Rapier and holds it skyward. He has a slightly crazy look of glee on his face.

ZORRO: Ah! But where would be the fun in that?!

SFX: Shhhha-HING!

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 6: ZORRO takes his horse into a tight turn as he turns to face the enemy head on. His sword points downwards and the tip of it just dips into the ground as he goes.

JONAH HEX turns and looks after ZORRO with a look of shocked surprise.

ZORRO: HeYAH!

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 7: JONAH HEX has brought his gun arm down to have both hands in control of his horse. He takes it into a turn to try to follow after ZORRO.

JONAH HEX: (smaller font and/or type size to emphasize that HEX is mostly muttering this under his breath.) Crazy old man…

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

END PAGE

Jonah Hex- Dead Man's Hand- Dan Hill

I have a fairly limited experience of the character having only read the first trade of the Palmiotti/Gray run and a few odd issues (including some of the old school stuff) here and there. 


This, then, is my take on events that played out in Jonah Hex Spectacular.


PAGE TWENTY TWO: A tier of two panels followed by a wide panel and a final tier of two panels.

Panel One

We OPEN on a CLOSE UP on a pair of SPECTACLES as they're being cleaned by a pair of weathered looking hands holding a grimy, frayed handkerchief.

In the reflection of the spectacles lenses we can see a vision of JONAH HEX in his prime, guns blazing, mouth snarling. 


NB: All of Jonah's captions use a handwritten style font, as if they are taken from a journal or manuscript.
CAPTION (JONAH):  No, I'm not afraid of dyin'. 


CAPTION (JONAH): It's been thirty eight years since I got this face.

CAPTION (JONAH):  Thirty eight years since I killed a man out of desperation.

Panel Two

PAN slightly to the hands-- weathered but strong, dirt and oil under the nails.

CAPTION (JONAH):  Killed a lot of folk since.

Panel Three: Wide panel

CUT TO a MEDIUM CLOSE UP on an elderly JONAH HEX (he's in his mid sixties now) sitting at a wooden round table in a Cheyenne saloon (the same one featured in Jonah Hex Spectacular).

Jonah continues to clean his spectacles, a hand of cards face down on the table in front of him.

A number of other players are seated around the table, all with their own cards.

CAPTION (JONAH):  Loved and lost.

CAPTION (JONAH):  Thirty eight years with death at my side.  

Panel Four

CUT TO a tight shot of Jonah putting his spectacles back on.

CAPTION (JONAH):  So, when I see him comin' for me...

Panel Five: Fixed panel

Jonah looks up slightly, squinting to focus. A man's SHADOW has fallen across him.

CAPTION (JONAH):  ...I'll meet him with a smile and say "What took you so damn long?"


CAPTION: Excerpt from an unpublished manuscript found in Laramie, Wyoming. 


CAPTION: Author unknown.

Jonah Hex - Straight From the Horse's Mouth - Grant McLaughlin

1 – Night time. An establishing shot in front of large farmstead. A sign above the entrance road reads “MacDougall Farm”. There's a regular looking farmhouse. One of the lights is on. People can be seen within. Without, there are two men walking towards the house.

MAN 1: Long ride today.

CAPTION: I used to run with some pretty shady folk. Didn't think much of it.

2 – The “camera” has moved closer to the house, as have the two men. However, the panel isn't centred on the house, it's actually off to the side a bit. A barn is visible beyond it.

MAN 2: Worth it for that stallion.

CAPTION: Wasn't too great of a varmint myself.

3 – The camera has continued beyond the house, now centred squarely on said barn.

CAPTION: All that changed the day I found myself on the wrong side of Jonah Hex.

4 – Interior of the barn. A group of animals (cows, chickens, pigs, horses, etc.) crowd around a certain horse with some scar marks around its front legs (hint: it's the one you're thinking of). They all look quite astounded. The horse looks weary (or as weary as a horse can). The following word balloons don't have to be associated with any particular animal, it's mostly to represent how excited they are about this story.

ANIMAL 1: You don't say!

ANIMAL 2: What happened?

ANIMAL 3: What did he do to you?

5 – Close-up of the horse. He still looks weary, maybe even doubtful. No dialogue.

6 – Same panel as panel 5.

HORSE: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Jonah Hex - Elsewhere - Ben Rosenthal

1. A classic Western Backdrop.  I the middle of the dirt street two men stand, ready to draw their guns and fire at each other. This panel shows the leg, gun in its holster of an unknown man in the fore ground, finger twitching to grab his gun.  In the background we see Jonah Hex in a similar position.


2.  A close up of Jonah Hex.

JONAH
I said draw!



3. A close up of the unknown man.  He is well dressed and of good breeding. He looks way too clean for someone living in the Wild West. His hat covers his face.

MAN
And I said go ahead.



4. A long panel showing Jonah firing, and the mystery man standing there, bullets bouncing off him.



5. A close up of Johah, looking shocked.

JOHAH
What the hell?



6. A close up of the well dressed man's face. He has looked up, revealing his face. It is that of Clark Kent, sans glasses.

CLARK
I'm what you may call a Super, man.

Jonah Hex - $56.29 - J.D. Coughlan

SET-UP: After a meagre bounty, Hex is sent to the bank to collect his reward; $56.29. But four armed robbers burst in. Two clear out the cash, two watch the crowd. Hex has suddenly appeared behind one.


Panel 1: Hex standing, blank-faced, behind one of the robbers, who is startled by Hex's sudden announcement.

HEX: Fifty-six dollars, twenty-nine cents.

ROBBER 1: JESUS!

Panel 2: Robber 1 aims his shotgun right in Hex's face. Hex is calm, Robber 1 is panicked.

ROBBER 1: You lookin' to get blown away, ya ugly sumbitch?

Panel 3: Close on Hex. Still perfectly calm, despite the shotgun barrel.

HEX: No. I'm lookin' for ma money.

HEX: Fifty-six dollars and twenty-nine cents.

HEX: For a bounty unrelated to this here circus show. I'll take it and I'll leave. After which, if anyone wants to hire me to bring in you criminal geniuses, then that's a different story. For now, you and me only got one problem.

Panel 4: Robber 1 looks over his shoulder at Robber 2 (also guarding the crowd) in the background. Hex is partly visible in the foreground, his back to us.

ROBBER 2: Charlie, what the hell's goin' on over there?

ROBBER 1: Dammit, Lou! No nam--!

Panel 5: Same placements as Panel 4, this time Hex is grabbing the shotgun in the middle, driving the butt into Robber 1's face, while simultaneously drawing his own pistol to shoot Robber 2 in the background.

ROBBER 1: ZKK!

SFX (PISTOL): BLAM

ROBBER 2: AAAH!

Panel 6: Different vantage point. The remaining two robbers come out from the vault with bags of cash. Hex has the shotgun trained on them with his pistol pointed at Robber 1 (on the floor, not unconscious; out of frame if necessary).

HEX: Fifty-six dollars, twenty-nine cents.

END OF PAGE

Why Jonah Hex?

For my first Thought Balloons pick, I thought I should go with my favourite character in all comics -- and one of my favourite characters in any medium. Plus, I love a good, ol' fashioned western.


Jonah Hex has a complicated history. Born in the Old West, Jonah's mother ran off when he was just a young 'un, leaving him in the "care" of his abusive, alcoholic father. His father would go on to sell Jonah to a tribe of Apache for a small price. Originally treated as a mere slave, Hex would eventually win the favour of the tribe by saving the life of their chief. But it didn't last. Hex was framed by a jealous rival and cast out. In his youthful anger, he joined up with the Confederacy during the Civil War, a decision that would eventually weigh heavily on his shoulders, thus the reason he wears his grey uniform at all times -- a badge of guilt. With a gruesomely scarred face and a talent only for killing, Hex became a bounty hunter after the war.


Then there was a brief period where Hex was sent to a post-apocalyptic future. He's also faced some supernatural enemies in his time, and teamed up with Amadeus Arkham to catch a serial killer, but it's the grizzly western genre that suits the man best; like a snake in the desert.


But it is not this past, intricate though it may be, that makes Hex such a compelling character. Nobody can quite say what it is. Maybe it's the fact he so rarely speaks of said past, or indeed, anything, unlike most characters who exposit all over the place. Maybe it's the fact that despite being a cold-blooded killer, he maintains a strict, personal code of honour. Maybe it's because he's a bastard's bastard who purposefully goes out of his way to minimise his involvement with people, yet occasionally gives us glimpses of a better man underneath with acts of humble kindness. Maybe it's because he once tackled a horse.

Who knows? I remain forever in awe of the man that is Jonah Woodson Hex, and I hope he never changes for the better.

P.S.: Hex's co-creator, the great artist Tony DeZuniga, passed away last month, and while I was always going to pick Hex, this could also serve as a late tribute.

P.P.S.: Anyone who invokes the terrible, terrible movie will be invited to throw down hot lead at high noon.